Alaskan Empireball
: Аляскинская Империяшар Alyaskinskaya Imperiyashar : ᐊᓛᓯᑲᓱᑦ ᓄᓈᑦᐃᒡᔪᒃ Alaasikasut Nunaatigjuk |founded = 1 January 2000 |predicon = Alaskan Republic |onlypredecessor = Alaskan Republicball |image = Alaskan Empireball.png |caption = Eternally on guard against the return of Trilluminati. |government = Federal absolute monarchy Matriarchy REMOVE GYNOFASCISTS!!! Empire THE GREATEST EMPIRE IN THE WORLD XAXAXAXAXA!!! Alien |personality = Knightly, chivalrous, courteous, heroic, psychopath, proud (and at some times vain), emo, goth, sensual, romantic, domineering (sometimes), alien |language = Aléscöi English Eskimo-Aleut languages (Inuktitut most of all) Russian Alien |type = Aléscöi Eskimo-Aleut Alaskan Natives American (technically) Russian Kebab I AM NOT KEBAB, REMOVE JIHAD!!! Alien |capital = New Archangelball |affiliation = ADNball Circumpolar Commonwealthball G20ball G7ball OECDball OPECball Vodka NATO CSTOball Aliens |religion = Christianity * Aléscö-Byzantine Orthodoxy Aléscöi Polytheism (only Western countryball who can into official polytheistic religion) Buddhismball Islamball REMOVE JIHAD!!! ∆γγ LM∆θism |friends = Anyone who is a capitalist neo-nationalist right-wing populist anti-globalist commie-remover, but most importantly... Happy 100th Name-Day Polonia!!! My second most important ally and puppet in the Pacific My greatest Western ally Fellow commie/SJW remover and my puppet who likes trees but remove vegans plox Others who can into impertua like me [[w:c:polandball:Hungaryball|Fellow remover of kebab/commie/'(((SOROS)))' and beacon of West like me]] Beneluxball I WILL NOT JOIN YUOR CLIMATE AGREEMENT, REMOVE MACRON!!! Helped set up my banks and treasury May also be hiding Dobrokhazarin and his demonic globalist cult Can into FREEDOM but don't turn fascist on me again plox I wish paella would leave you alone! Other aliens stranded on Earth just like me He is mei patori in spirit, if not in body (don't turn commie on me plox) Grecolanda Has sexy women like me BUT MINE ARE STILL SEXIER XAXAXAXAXA!!! I stand with you but remove circumcision plox!!! Amikatora vortaí miraan and my puppet fellow wonton-remover in the Pacific FREE PARK GEUN-HYE!!! I forgive him for bombing/invading my clay in 1942 DO IT AGAIN AND I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! Important ally in Southeast Asia but remove tranny plox Sinolanda Veritaal Congratulations to Bolsonaro for winning against democommie in 2018 election BUT I STILL HAVE SEXIER WOMEN THAN YUO XAXAXAXAXA!!! Fellow remover of kebab/wonton/commie BUT AEVERESTI IS STILL MINE XAXAXAXAXA!!! I WISH THEY WOULD STOP BURNING YUO Aliens Formerly: I did it patori...I carried on your legacy...*snif*...now you can finally into resting in peace... You were the true Koryolanda all along, enjoy reunification |enemies = Anyone who supports globalism, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, open borders, fascism, female supremacy and political correctness, as well as anyone who beats up people who disagree with any of the aforementioned, but especially... LITERALLY SATAN MADE FLESH * UNball LITERALLY HIS DEMONIC CULT * LITERALLY HIS DEMONIC HIGH PRIEST * LITERALLY HIS HIGH PRIEST'S DEMONIC LIEUTENANTS * LITERALLY HIS DEMONIC ACOLYTES PURE EVIL * I DON'T CARE IF YUO ARE MEI FRATOR, REMOVE BATASUNA!!! Or else... * FAKE CHINA AND COMMIE SCUM, REMOVE!!! Or else... * FILTHY AFRICOMMIES WHO WON'T STOP BURNING VOLKSTAATBALL * YUO ARE OF FILTHY COMMIE TACO, REMOVE MADURO!!! I WILL NEVER ACCEPT YUO IN MY CLAY, REMOVE KEBAB!!! * STAHP FUNDING JIHAD YUO GOATFUCKER!!! JUST STAHP!!! I produce and export more oil than you XAXAXAXAXA!!! * I WILL NEVER RECOGNIZE YUO, I STAND WITH JUDONIA!!! REMOVE INTIFADA!!! LEAVE CATALONIA ALONE!!! Or else... I'M NOT A MATRIARCHY!!!!!! YUO ARE MINE!!!!! REMOVE HOMOSEX!!! SOUL EATING DEMONIC SHAPESHIFTERS YUO CANNOT INTO FEMALE PRESIDENT OF USA XAXAXAXAXA!!! FLAG STEALER!!! Formerly: [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|(((I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YUO]] FOR 1917))) Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel (sometimes) * [[Canadian Union Stateball|'YUO HOLOCAUSTED MY PEOPLE, 1945 NEVER FORGET!!!' YUO ARE MY CLAY NAO XAXAXAXAXA!!!]] * WHY DID YUO BETRAY ANGLOLANDA?!?!? * LITERALLY AFRICAN HITLER but not really FAKE KOREA WHO CANNOT INTO FUNCTIONAL NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! BOMBED MY CLAY IN WWII AND IS OF FLAG STEALER |likes = MAGA; her flag; ravens; her Emperor, Aurora Romanova Silverwing; her language; being #1 superpower of the Arctic; hunting and fishing; cannabis; her military; her women; her aboriginal peoples; Wonder Woman, capitalism; high technology; her national sovereignty, REMOVING GLOBALISM, Hot Topic, The Great Awakening, METAL (especially the female-fronted black/death/symphonic kind); her vast mineral wealth; �� #Oil4Dayz; oilmonies; her overseas possessions; aliens |hates = Terrorists, KEBAB, being called kebab, JIHADISTS TRYING TO BOMB ME, GOATFUCKERS, mosques, Muhammad the rapist, the star and crescent symbol, hijabs, sharia law, anything to do with Islam, GYNOFASCISTS, feminism in general, real fascism of any kind, Trilluminati, his demonic cult, (((HIS HIGH PRIEST))), his brainwashed acolytes, anything to do with Trilluminati, the deep state, FILTHY COMMIES, democommies, leftism of any kind, her low male birth rate, VEGANS, SHAPESHIFTING SOUL EATERS trannies, homosex in general but ESPECIALLY trannies, snowflakes, POLITICAL CORRECTNESS |intospace = Can into world-orbiting network of battlestations and defense satellites because I am secretly a 6ball which enables me to obliterate entire clays from orbit and establish global air and space supremacy within mere seconds. I have no current plans to use for now. |bork = Aléscö vortaí Suka Blyat ∆γγ LM∆θ ∆γγ LM∆θ Daiamaltekar Daiamaltekar Orbital strike orbital strike Impertua Impertua Silverwing Silverwing Khazarin Khazarin ALLAHU AKBAR |food = Whatever she can hunt or fish from the wild; does not eat (((VEGAN FILTH))) of any kind. Also eats whatever cuisine aliens eat |status = Currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because of Aléscö-Chinese War and Fake Chinaball losing some of his clay and being a (((FILTHY COMMIE))). Also eternally on guard for when Trilluminati and his demonic globalist cult rise again from the Ninth Hell to try and consume the West. |notes = She is the only countryball that can into all-female military and the only Western countryball that can into polytheistic official religion. Also can into the sexiest and tallest women on the planet (TAKE THAT BRAZIL XAXAXAXAXA!!!). |gender = Always female |predecessor = Aliens Alaskan Republicball}}Alaskan Empireball, ''' also known as '''Aléscöball, is secretly a 6ball a countryball located primarily in northern North America. She is the second-largest countryball on Earth, behind only PAFball, but is currently the world's dominant superpower alongside USAball, Chinaball, Eurasian Unionball, EUball and Brazilball. Personality Despite always being depicted as female, Aléscöball is a virile and extremely macho countryball, but this does not make her a cartoony "butch lesbian" archetype. In fact, because she has the lowest sex ratio of any countryball (0.25) and a sex ratio at birth of just 0.00002 (1 boy born per 50,000 girls), Aléscöball is often referred to as the Vodka Kebab Amazon of the Arctic because she is the only countryball who can into all-female military. However, Aléscöball considers herself a modern-day knight because she is the only Western country who can into absolute monarchy; therefore she is chivalrous, gallant, courteous, heroic and proud and sometimes vain, and oftentimes even nurturing, as the neologism "maternal warrior" describes Aléscöball all too perfectly. Aléscöball is often called a matriarchy because of the abnormally low sex ratio in her population and at birth, but she REALLY takes serious offense to that. The abnormally low sex ratio in her clay is because of her period under occupation by one Axis soyboy who got tired of apologizing was ass-hurt because Aléscöball wouldn't gib half her oilmonies and clay when he asked for an economic bailout. During her years under occupation by Fascist Canadaball a Holocaust took place throughout her clay during which millions of 3balls and Inuitballs were experimented on with horrible Wunderwaffe biological and chemical agents, including one called the Grey Plague, which dramatically reduced the probability of being pregnant with a son to 50000:1. Plus, most of her male population was wiped out because of World War II. Her clay never experienced the female supremacist feminist movement, particularly because Aléscöball already can into equality without feminism. She is often called the emo or Goth version of USAball because of her architectural style and her Aléscöi culture. The truth behind this assumption is much, much darker, however: After Soviet Unionball removed her adoptive father from his former clay along with Romanov and food and private property and human rights, she was inconsolable, even resorting to self-harm to cope, which is how she became an edgy emoball. Because of her weird language which is the only Romance language that can into the Armenian alphabet because it was developed by 6balls, Aléscöball is often considered to be a 6ball herself. Despite never having been colonized by UKball unlike nearly 25% of the world at the time, Aléscöball can speak fluent English complete with the proper spelling and all that, but when entering emotional extremes (specifically, when enraged) she uses the same broken Polandball grammar like the other countryballs in the Polandball universe. History ' From Humble and Alien Beginnings (c.15,000 BCE-1799) ' Aléscöball originated as a 6ball stranded on Earth lonesome Inuitball who crossed the Bering land bridge to what is now North America from what is now Asia about 15,000 years ago, settling in what now comprises her clay. Her clay is comprised of several different varieties of 3balls with her fellow Inuitballs being the largest group. For most of her pre-European history, these 3balls primarily existed as hunter-gatherer societies. In 1741, however, the Daneball known as Vitus Bering arrived off the coast of Aléscöball's clay on an expedition commissioned by Tsar Peter the Great of the Russian Empireball. Six years later, Russiaballs made landfall at Three Saints' Bay in the Aleutian island chain of her clay, soon to become Russian clay. They were after the fur trade and their slice of North American clay, specifically the "soft gold" or sea otter fur, the softest in the world after chinchilla fur; at the time it was worth its weight in gold. ' Russian Americaball (1799-1917) ' At first the Russiaballs were brutal to Aléscöball, the Inuitballs and the other 3balls in her clay. Starting in 1783, several of these Russiaballs known as promyshlennikiballs would round up her 3ball brothers and sisters, using them as slave laborers to hunt furs and remove other 3balls elsewhere on the west coast of North American clay for future expansion. They would brutally put down any uprisings against them and this was the order of the day for the first 20 years of Russian rule, but eventually they stopped when the Tsarina Catherine the Great condemned the violence and ultimately decreed that no more 3balls were to be exploited for furs. From 1763 onward, the Russiaballs began to treat her 3ball and Inuitball brothers and sisters more equitably, offering them jobs in the fur trade and even having little creoleballs with them, though it would take two generations for the 3ball population to bounce back from near-extinction. Thus Aléscöball's first incarnation, Russian Americaball, was born, with her current capital city in New Archangelball. Come 1867, Russiaball had just lost the Crimean War to UKball and Franceball and was in need of money, but he wasn't willing to give up his only territory in North America. When USAball put forward a proposal to buy up Aléscöball's clay, Russiaball refused. The threat of UKball expanding into his North American clay instead prompted him to heavily militarize Aléscöball, so when gold was found in her clay, prospectors from the respective clays of USAball and elsewhere around the world began pouring in by the hundreds of thousands, and much goldmonies and touristmonies would be of gibbings to Russiaball and Aléscöball from the massive economic boom that followed, enabling Russiaball to pay for Aléscöball's modernization. During World War I, Aléscöball and Russiaball both fought on the side of the Allied Powers against the Reichtangle and his friends, though Russiaball pulled out of the war after the Battle of Tannenberg due to some internal problems. In 1917, the Romanov dynasty was toppled from power, and Tsar Nicholas II and the rest of the Romanov Russiaballs fled to Yekaterinburg. Thus, the Russian Empireball died, and the Soviet Unionball was born. Even though her late father pulled out of the war because of commie, Aléscöball continued to fight on in his stead until the ensuing Allied victory in 1917. ' Tsardom of Alaskaball (1917-1945) ' Upon hearing that commie anschlussed her adoptive father's clay, Aléscöball was very sad. As commies began to remove Romanov and food and human rights from Russiaball's former clay, the Romanov dynasty and several of his supporters were able to flee to Aléscöball's clay, removing Russian Americaball and establishing a new Tsardom from scratch, resulting in the rise of her second incarnation, Tsardom of Alaskaball, the final bastion (and eventual successor) of the Russian Empireball on Earth. As a result of the massive influx of White Russiaballs from her father's former clay, coupled with Western investment into the development of natural resources in her own clay, Aléscöball was well on the way to becoming one of the world's great powers and eventual world superpower. While the rest of the world suffered from the Great Depression, Aléscöball flourished as other impoverished countryballs came to her seeking economic bailouts. She was one of the few Western countryballs to escape the extreme economic collapse of the Depression, with oil being discovered in the far north of her clay in 1934. Of these impoverished countryballs seeking bailouts from her, none were more desperate than Canadaball, whose economy was so closely linked to that of USAball and UKball, and Japanball, who was hit especially hard by the depression because of the limited size of his clay and lack of natural resources. Their economies were in a shambles, their infrastructure woefully crippled, their peoples could not into food or warmth and their industrial level was way behind the times. Still, that did not stop them from going to Aléscöball and seeking economic bailouts. At first they were successful in negotiation but when they asked her to gib them half of her oilmonies and the eastern part of her clay, Aléscöball kicked them both out of her clay in disgust, as she was not going to just let a pair of mooches suck her hard-won oilmonies dry. Little did Aléscöball know that neither Canadaball nor Japanball would forget this, and that they would come back to bite her in the ass in the future. Shortly after Aléscöball kicked him out of her clay for being a soyboy whiner asking her to gib him half of her oilmonies and clay, a despondent Canadaball suffered a severe mental breakdown from his hopeless economic situation, causing him to develop an alter ego. Civil war eventually broke out between him and his Nazi-backed doppelgänger, with USAball providing Canadaball with money and weapons that could have been used to invade and remove fascism from Nazi Germanyball's clay. Eventually Nazi Germanyball and Fascist Franceball directly intervened on the side of his doppelgänger and invaded his eastern coast while the Empire of Japanball invaded his western coast. Besieged on two sides of his clay, Canadaball's doppelgänger finally got the better of him, completely consuming him and transforming him into the Canadian Union Stateball. The rest of the civil war involved him removing democracy, rosbif, burger, homosex, kosher and commie and freedom and human rights from his clay. Come 1941, after Japanball bombed Pearl Harbor and then invaded and anschlussed Hawaiiball, he and Hockey Hitler turned their attention to Aléscöball to get revenge on her for kicking them out of her clay and not gibbing them economic bailouts and shares of her clay. Even with her vast resource wealth and her vast White Alaskan Army, Aléscöball was no match for the Axis and she was beaten into submission by the Japanballs and Fascist Canadaballs. In 1943, Tsar Alexei II, the last ruler of the Tsardom of Alaskaball, was among the casualties of the Axis invasion along with most of the Romanov family, yet Aléscöball refused to throw in the towel, fighting on to the bitter end. She had fought on longer than any of the other Allies, but at the end of it all, she was no match for the advancing Axis forces, and she surrendered on 15 September 1945, becoming an occupied territory of the Canadian Union Stateball. ' Under Hockey Hitler Canadian Occupation (1945-1959) ' The years after the fall of Tsardom of Alaskaball were very hard for Aléscöball. Nearly a quarter of a million White Russiaballs, 3balls and Inuitballs died, and this was just the beginning. Under occupation by Fascist Canadaball, nearly all 3balls and Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay became slave laborers, either as expendable laborers in industrial enterprises or as bonded neo-serfs on the estates of Canadian farmers in its prairie provinces. But perhaps the most horrifying atrocity to ever befall the 3balls and Inuitballs was the inhumane medical experimentation performed upon them by the millions by Fascist Canadaball, such as weapons testing, drug trials, lobotomies, gas and pressure chamber trials, and even early forms of genetic splicing. The genetic splicing in particular, however, would backfire hard on Hockey Hitler in the future, leading to the creation of the modern descendants of these oppressed countryballs and future master race: The Aléscöi. Even though the White Alaskan Army was woefully outgunned and heavily crippled after the war, it was far from defeated. Aléscöball knew that the Axis would take over her clay eventually, and in the event of inevitable anschlussing by Hockey Hitler, she had a contingency plan in place to make the occupation of her clay as difficult as possible for him: *The development of the Aléscöi language, which is spoken by 6balls derived from Greek and Latin, jumbled together with the Russian language and her Inuit languages (particularly Inuktitut, which was almost extinct by this time). While it sounds like Latin and Greek being spoken in Inuit by an Arabball, the Aléscöi language is in fact an alien language part of the Romance language family, and is the only Romance language that can into the Armenian alphabet. It was indecipherable to the Fascist Canadaballs and remains one of the hardest languages to learn, let alone master, even today. *The cultural and territorial unification of all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs in Aléscöball's clay into a single people using the Ulle Triba ("One Tribe") strategy, which was a massive and difficult undertaking as the 3balls and Inuitballs at the time had radical cultural differences. It took Aléscöball nearly 7 years to fully integrate all 3balls, Inuitballs and White Russiaballs with the Aléscöballs. *The adoption of military tactics, strategy, organisation and equipment used by the Axis Powers during World War II, including the strategy of blitzkrieg. This suddenly made the White Alaskan Army a much more formidable opponent. *The use of constant guerrilla warfare to harass and disrupt Hockey Hitler's grip over Aléscöball's clay. In 1952 a massive rebellion took place in Aléscöball's clay which ultimately led to Fascist Canadaball's surrender and withdrawal seven years later. Constant slave revolts and guerrilla attacks by the 3balls and Inuitballs in Aléscöball's clay as well as in Fascist Canadaball's own clay had left him weakened and unable to fight back against the resurgent White Alaskan Army, now supported by USAball under General Douglas MacArthur. It was at that moment that he decided to fight another day and on 3 January 1959, his control over Aléscöball ended. ' Alaskan Republicball and the Cold War (1959-2000) ' At the same time that USAball liberated her clay from Hockey Hitler, Aléscöball grew disillusioned with the fall of her monarchy. However, at least for the time being, she put her plans for restoring the Romanov dynasty to her throne on hold, and decided to become a constitutional republic instead; this resulted in her fourth incarnation, the Alaskan Republicball, being born. Aléscöball during the latter half of the 20th Century was on par with USAball as a world superpower. She soon found herself involved in the Cold War, which was raging between four distinct factions: * NATOball, led by USAball and his Allied friends. In later years, after USAball withdrew from the UNball for its treatment of Israelcube, it would be reformed into the alternative organizationball known as the Alliance of Democratic Nationsball, led by USAball and Aléscöball who helped found it. * Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel, a fascist NATO fascist alliance led by Nazi Germanyball, whose strategy was to spread fascism to its rivals. Fascist Canadaball was part of this organization since he was part of the Axis during World War II. * The Warsaw Pactball, led by Soviet Unionball, whom Aléscöball particularly hated with a passion and wanted to seek vengeance against for killing her father. In later years, long after commie fell, it would become vodka NATO CSTOball, which Aléscöball would also join. * The Greater East Asia Co-Prosperitysphere or GEACOPsphere, led by the Japanese Empireball, which sought to spread its influence across Asia and expand across the Pacific. Aléscöball joined forces with USAball and the rest of NATOball, as that was where her best interests lay. The containment strategy of Aléscöball, USAball and the rest of NATOball was to contain the spread of fascism and communism before it reached the Americas. Her first battle of the Cold War was against her former oppressor. By this time she developed her own military-industrial complex and the Federal Alaskan Army used it to great effect, finally removing Hockey Hitler from the face of the Earth and taking all of his clay for herself in 1975, after nearly 15 years of endless war. At the height of the Cold War, Aléscöball was now the third-largest nation on Earth, second only to USAball in military power and the size of her economy. By this time she even had her own space program which she stole from the former Hockey Hitler and by the end of the Cold War, she had at least five orbiting battlestations and her first space-based superweapon, the ''Daiamaltekar'' strategic defense satellite, which could shoot down enemy ballistic missiles and orbitally remove enemy clays with kinetic orbital strikes. She did this in 1989 to remove nukes from Sovietball's clay in the Aléscö-Soviet War, thus removing any threat that he could pose to her or the rest of NATOball and obtaining her vengeance on him for anschlussing her patori. The threat of orbitally-launched hypervelocity rods being dropped on his clay from orbit and having no weapon to possibly counter them, combined with the destruction of almost all of his nukes, facilities to launch his nukes and production facilities to make more nukes, as well as his own internal problems, was enough to make Sovietball go tits-up and become the capitalist Eurasian Unionball on 26 December 1991, thus ending the Cold War. Aside from the larger Cold War, Aléscöball was involved in several other conflicts during the Republican Period, such as removing hockey baguette rebels from her own clay in 1984, supporting the Mongol Empireball in his expansion into Central Asia to anschluss the stans so he can into the largest landlocked country in the world, and anschlussing LIBERATING some of Fake Chinaball's clay in the Aléscö-Chinese War in 1999. ''' I Can Finally Into Empire Again XAXAXAXAXAXA!!! (2000-Present) The beginning of the new millennium marked a new era for the world and for Aléscöball. Just two years earlier, the last remaining heir of the Romanov dynasty, a certain silver-haired Aléscöi woman, was finally located. This resumed Aléscöball's postponed efforts to restore the Romanovs to power in her clay, and on 1 January 2000, Aléscöball transitioned into her final and current incarnation, the '''Alaskan Empireball. After an attack by some jihadists on USAball's clay , Aléscöball joined USAball and his allies on a crusade to remove jihad in what would be the longest conflict in USAball’s life. Aléscöball was on high alert, suspecting that terrorists would attempt into Islamification cultural enrichment on her too, and the decision was made to ban Islam across her clay, resulting in hundreds of thousands of kebab being removed. However, her most recent major conflict was against USAball. Rather, it was a conflict against a possessed USAball, who came down with a case of soyboyitis in 2008 and 2013. At first the symptoms were not entirely clear other than a gradual leftward shift in his ideology, but come 2013 he began exhibiting symptoms of political correctness, homosex, creeping matriarchy and globalism and signs of turning into a filthy demsoc. In response to this several states began to secede from the Union, just as the CSAball had done so many years ago, because he enabled jihad and political correctness and race riots in USAball's clay, as well as violence against conservatives and libertarians and anything to the right of Marx in the name of social justice and establishing a one-world totalitarian government. For the first time in nearly 170 years, USAball finally cracked under the pressure and, just like the Hockey Hitler before him, he suffered a case of schizophrenia as the conservatives and libertarians joined forces to remove demsoc from his clay. To save the last truly free Western countryball from being overrun by globalism or, God forbid, Trilluminati and his demonic cult, Aléscöball intervened on the side of the patriots, invading his clay with over 5 million troops to remove demsoc and stop Trilluminati's high priest from completing the NWO Summoning Ritual to enable his master to rise from hell and consume the West. Her involvement in the civil war saved USAball from what would have been the most horrifying overthrow of a democratic government in human history, casting Trilluminati, his high priest, and his high priest's demonic lieutenants back into the Nine Hells using the power of MAGA and The Great Natonalist Awakening. Today Aléscöball is one of the world's superpowers and tied with USAball as the most powerful of them all. She is currently in a cold war with Fake Chinaball because she anschlussed LIBERATED some of his clay, and is also involved in Indiaball's clay to remove curry commie separatists, Venezuelaball's clay to stop commie from spreading, and other commie removal operations around the globe. In addition, she is involved in various globalism removal operations such as removing migrants from European clay, aiding UKball so he can into Brexit, and eternally being on guard in preparation for the inevitable day that Trilluminati, his high priest, his high priest's demonic lieutenants and his demonic globalist cult will once again rise from the Nine Hells to consume the West. She also is currently supporting MAGA and his supporters so that he can into finishing the Wall and remove illegals from his clay. In fact, some say she could be responsible for the great awakening gripping the world right now... Relationships 'Mei Familitia! (My Family)' * Rutania Impertuaal ("Russian Empire") - He was mei patori. He adopted me when I was but a lonely Inuit. Now because of [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|'(((FILTHY COMMIE)))']], he is dead, and I miss him to this day, but I am his true successor because Romanovs fled to my clay when commie tried to remove them along with food, private property and human rights from patori's clay. I carried on your legacy, now you can finally rest in peace. COME BACK TO ME PATORI!!! WHY COULDN'T IT HAVE BEEN ME?!?!?! HE KILLED YUO AND I DIDN'T SAVE YUO, I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE DEAD!!! * 6ball - All of the rumors are true, of course I am one of them. How else was I able to establish a world-spanning network of orbital battlestations? I am sure that there are others on Earth just like me. * Peizaalie Celtonoi ("Celtic States") - Speaking of whom, because they have weird languages like yei and Vascolanda, they consider themselves 6balls in disguise: ** Brezolanda - He is angry with Francolanda because he currently cannot into independence. Hey, don't you look like Amerikeya on black and white television? Unfortunately he has commie and fascists in his clay and I have no idea which way he may swing, but only one thing is for certain: If you turn into either of them, I WILL END YOU. EVEN IF YOU ARE MEI FRATOR. ** Cornolanda - He is the evil twin brother of Brezolanda who does not actually build his walls out of corn likes piracy and switching off lighthouses. He is also famous for his pasties and his tin mining but my mineral wealth eclipses yours XAXAXAXAXA!!! but like some of his Celtic brothers he cannot into independence, which is why he and Anglolanda are at each others' throats. He also is gearing up to turn into commie like his twin brother because he also cannot into independence and is being influenced by IRA. If he turns commie on me then it no longer matters if he is my alien brother, IT WILL BE THE END OF HIM, JUST LIKE THE COMMIE WHO KILLED MEI PATORI. ** Cymrailanda - The one Celtic brother of mine who can into independence, ever since he broke free of Anglolanda many years ago while Germania's alter-ego was bombing his clay. You may have a dragon on your flag and my religion has four of them as chief gods XAXAXAXAXA!!! and the longest place name in Aevropia, but you still have commie in your clay. Don't turn commie on me plox. * Inuits - My clay has the highest concentration of them on Earth. In fact one of my official languages is Inuktitut, which I made the standard language of all Inuits. After all, I myself am one of them, and because of me they can into one unified people because of Ulle Triba. They were nearly holocausted by Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII. * Precursors - My clay is also home to several hundred different varieties of aboriginal peoples, which you may know as "Alaskan Natives." Each tribe is a semi-autonomous entity in my clay called a Precursor Stateball. Like my own people, they were also nearly holocausted by Hockey Hitler at the end of WWII. 'Amikatorie Miraan! (Best Friends)' If you're a right-wing, neo-nationalist, protectionist, anti-communist, anti-feminist, anti-globalist, anti-Marxist, anti-Islamist, nativist, populist libertarian patriot who likes Trump, MAGA, freedom, liberty, national sovereignty and small government, and hates globalism, feminism, mass Muslim migration, leftism, communism, socialism, "democratic" socialism, big government and especially (((SOROS))), you are her friend whether you want to be or not. DO NOT TRY TO DENY THAT FACT. OR ELSE... * Amerikeya Impertuaal ("American Empire") - He is my closest and most powerful ally in Amerikeya Nortai and the world because he liberated me from Hockey Hitler at the end of World War II. In return, when Dobrokhazarin rose from the Nine Hells to consume him and the rest of the West, I removed him, his high priest and the deep state from his clay, before sending him back to the Nine Hells from whence he came. I extend my congratulations to Daiakhazarin Trump and I wish him luck in his crusade to build the wall, drain the swamp and Make Amerikeya Great Again. Everyone calls me an "emo" or "goth" version of him because of my Aléscöi culture. He can into impertua like me but not in the "traditional" sense * Polonia - Congratulations on your 100th anniversary Polonia! You are the shining beacon of Western civilization aside from me against the endless tides of kebab sweeping through Aevropia. One day you will into space, but for now we must hold the line against the kebab hordes! Cannot into space yet, but potentially can into impertua like me * Anglolanda - He is my strongest ally in Aevropia and is leaving the Merkelreichtangle because he cannot into national sovereignty again if he remains. In a way my monarchy is based on his but not really is still very much an absolute monarchy with democratic characteristics. Currently cannot into Brexit because of uncooperative elements in his clay as well as the influence of the Merkelreichtangle, Dobrokhazarin and Dobrokhazarin's high priest. Was once impertua like me but potentially can into again * Francolanda - FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT JOIN YUOR FUCKING CLIMATE AGREEMENT, YUOR PRESIDENT IS A FILTHY DEMOCOMMIE WHO WANT INTO SUCKINGS OUR HARD EARNED MONIES DRY!!! REMOVE MACRON AND REMOVE GLOBALISM!!! I feel sorry for her, she is trying to remove Macron for driving up taxes and spreading globalism in her clay, which is why the Gilets Jaunes are rioting and demanding Macron be removed from the premises. I happen to stand with them because I hate globalism, because I sense the clammy hand of Dobrokhazarin and his high priest behind the climate agreement WHICH I WILL NEVER JOIN EVER!!!. I also hope that Marine le Pen can into becoming her president and spread MAGA after removing Macron and globalism from the premises. Recently she suffered an attack by jihadists funded by Dobrokhazarin's high priest unfortunate fire in her cathedral which destroyed the spire. Kardai mei is with you, Francolanda. Was once impertua like me, but cannot into again because she is of surrenderer monkey XAXAXAXAXA * Magyarolanda - Like myself and Polonia, he is a member of the anti-globalist club and a handful of countries who are not touched by Dobrokhazarin and his demonic globalist cult. In fact he has recently exiled his high priest from his clay, plus he has gone one step further and removed snowflakes and gynofascist indoctrination gender studies as well. He can also into kebab/commie removal agency like me but he cannot into sea. * Qasqata - The other nation in Amerikeya Nortai with whom I share a border. He likes trees and has a Douglas fir on his flag, also he is remover of commie and snowflake like yei but remove vegans plox. Lots of Canadaballs fled to his clay during World War II and the regime of [[Canadian Union Stateball|'(((HOCKEY HITLER)))']], but they are nice people. He can into 100% green economy and infrastructure and zero pollution, and he is very strict about that, but ironically is a remover of climate change hoax like me and Amerikeya. And if you litter in his clay... * Unitia Nordicaal ("Nordic Union") - He is my enforcer in Aevropia part of the Circumpolar Commonwealth like me. I have had to bail him out in the past because of jihadists trying into Islamification cultural enrichment in his clay. Contrary to the old saw, he is not socialist; in fact he tried socialism and it ended up biting him in the ass, so he returned to free-market capitalism like me and the rest of the Alliance of Democratic Nations. Still, me and Polonia face the daunting task of removing kebab and political correctness from his clay. Potentially can into impertua like me but not really * Confaederatia Alpinolanda ('Alpine Confederation") - He is known all over Aetotaar for his neutrality in virtually all world conflicts (though he was occupied by Nazi Germania for 25 years), his clockworking and watch-crafting skills, his breathtaking Alps and ski resorts, and his famous banks. In fact, he helped me get my banks and my national treasury started after Amerikeya helped me remove Hockey Hitler from my clay in 1959. Alpinolanda also can into high mountains like me but I have the highest mountain and mountain range in the world XAXAXAXAXA!!! but for all his wealth he cannot into sea. May secretly be harboring Dobrokhazarin and his demonic globalist cult * Peizaal Australia Uneito ("Australian Union State") - He is my most important ally in the Pacific aside from Oceania Impertuaal, but is constantly under threat from Sinolanda Sudonicaal. Amerikeya and I guarantee his sovereignty but I'' take the prize as the land where everything wants to kill you. He recently was traumatized by a most unfortunate event and false flag attack that saw 49 kebab removed innocent people killed and 48 more wounded. Shame that Australia could not finish the job though * Catalonia - I rescued him from his abusive maitora who still try into anschluss on him. He is ever-grateful to yei for guaranteeing his aotonomitia omnie, but there are terrorists in his clay who are trying to turn him into fascist, commie, demsoc or try to pull him back into his maitora's clay, which is very much the case with the other countryballs having broken away from her. * Afrikeya Leukoriaal ("White Africa") - '''I WISH AFRICOMMIE WOULD STOP BURNING YUO!!!' Though he was descended from African Hitler, I forgive him because supporters of Africommie want to burn his clay and want into holocaust on because of his history. Contrary to what Africommie says, African Hitler didn't holocaust the Umbratorie in Volkstaat's clay unlike other members of Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel at the time including (((HOCKEY HITLER))) but he did succeed (kinda) in his Final Apartheid policy by creating a new bantustan on the east coast of his clay for all Umbratorie to live in before he died, so he is the only African (European?) countryball who can into all-white majority. WHAT HAPPENED IN THE PAST STAYS IN THE PAST AND IF YUO KEEP TRYING TO BURN HIM I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO AFRICOMMIE!!! ** : STAHP SUPPORTING DA WHITE COLONIZAS!!! AZANIA IS MY CLAY!!! ALL OF AFRICA IS MY CLAY!!! DA WHITE MAN ENSLAVED AND COLONIZED OUR PEOPLE FOR CENTURIES!!! AFTA WORLD WAR II DA SOUTH AFRICAN HITLA MADE MY PEOPLE SLAVE AWAY IN DA DIAMOND MINES AND DEN HE KICK DEM OUTTA DER HOMES!!! I WILL AVENGE DA MILLIONS OF 8BALLS WHO SUFFA'D AT DA HANDS OF DA WHITE DEVIL BY EXPELLING ALL DA COLONIZAS ONCE AND FOR ALL!!! YUO DON'T KNOW DA WAE!!! ** : SURPRISE IMPERTUA, AFRICOMMIE... * Brazilia - He is my strongest ally in Amerikeya Sotai. I have many Aléscöi in his clay and he has many hue in mine. Congratulations to Jair Bolsonaro for defeating that democommie in 2018!!! Ever since he ensure that democommie cannot into the presidency, he is now in the process of removing Satan and his demonic cult from his clay like yei. Was once impertua like me but potentially can into again 'Amikatorie (Friends)' * Judonia - I will stand arm-in-arm, hand-in-hand, shoulder-to-shoulder with him until the end of time. I don't have many Jews in my clay but still I recognize him over that jihad enabler who also tries into jihad on him. His Mossad helped my Imperial Intelligence Service get started, so kudos to him for that too. But one question remains though: Would it kill you to not circumcise everyone you come across in your clay? People are beginning to realize that it's not medically necessary anymore. ** : REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT REMOVE BRIT MILAH, IT IS OF MOST IMPORTANT RITE IN ALL OF JUDAISM YUO STUPID GOYIM!!! FORESKIN IS MARK OF SATAN, REMOVE!!! Even though I have lots of Jewcubes in my clay who oppose it * Nibonlanda Impertuaal - My strongest ally in Asia Orientaal. Although he bombed my clay in World War II and even tried into invadings mei island chain, I forgive him but seriously though TRY IT AGAIN AND I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!!. He can into impertua like me, probably because he already IS impertua like me BUT MY IMPERTUA IS BIGGER THAN YUORS XAXAXAXAXA!!! and has his own Daiakhazarin like yei. He is currently in a spat with Sinolanda Sudonicaal since he lose most of his clay, plus his Daiakhazarin is about to transfer power to his son, so eyes are peeled to see how the transition will turn out. He also is currently still whaling around Antarctica which is soon to be my clay in violation of international laws, seriously though STAHP WHALING IN ANTARCTICA!!! JUST STAHP!!! * Germania - My second greatest ally in Aevropia. Though I cannot forget his dark and tragic past, I can forgive him. Now he is overrun by kebab like almost all other countryballs in Aevropia thanks to Merkelreich and snowflake leftists. He was an impertua before and he can into impertua again since his alter ego faded away just before the dawn of the new millennium. Still, he is prone to schizophrenic attacks, and the day is yet to come when he will be consumed completely by his alter ego...and never wake up. * Eurasia - In a way, he is mei patori in spirit, if not in body. I miss him so much. But even though he arose from that [[w:c:polandball:Soviet_Unionball|'(((FILTHY COMMIE WHO KILLED HIM)))']], at least HE is not like his former self. He can into capitalism like me and, in a way, he can into impertua as well. Just don't turn commie on me plox 'Opinitia Nei (Neutral/No Opinion)' * South African Reichball - Though he was in league with the Axis along with (((HOCKEY HITLER))) during World War II, interestingly enough the two of us got along, but only because we both hated commies and removed them from our clays. He was the only thing aside from Amerikeya keeping Africommie from screwing up the entire continent of Afrikeya, and he was very good at keeping him at bay. He also kept the Umbratorie in his clay under control via apartheid and was very good at that too. At least HE was the one member of Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel who didn't rely on holocausting his plebs to maintain control. But at the end of the day he was a fascist dick like the rest of the Reichsweltgemeinschaftkügel members especially (((HOCKEY HITLER))), and when some of his plebs rose up against him, he faded away, even though he (kinda) succeeded in his goal of Final Apartheid by creating a new bantustan on the east coast of his clay for all Umbratorie to live in before he died. * Slavia Sotai - Though he is a (((FILTHY COMMIE))) the two of us get along because we both can into removing kebab together. But seriously though REMOVE COMMIE OR I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! * Osmania - He acts as a counterweight to Kalifada Miraan and is unique among kebabs in that he opposes jihad and can into secularism. But a question begs to be answered: DOES IT KILL YOU TO ACCEPT THAT YOU DID TRY TO HOLOCAUST ARMENIA?! He can into impertua like me ** : FOR THE LAST TIME THERE WAS NO ARMENIAN GENOCIDE!!! STAHP BRINGING IT UP, IT NEVER HAPPENED!!! SİKTİR GİT!!! SİKTİR GİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİİT!!! But yes, you and I can into empire. In fact I'm also the only kebab who has friendly relations with her and the West, plus I'm a commie and jihad remover like she is. And WHY ARE YOU USING GODDAMN ARMENIAN SCRIPT FOR YUOR LANGUAGE?!?! YUO ARE OF COPYCAT PLAGIARIST, GET YUOR OWN ALPHABET AND STAHP BELIEVING ARMENIAN LIES!!! * Gaelolanda - He is the North Korea of Europe most fortified island on the planet and has been so since the end of WWII thanks to his isolationist Dún Éire ("Fortress Ireland") policy. He finally was able into 26+6=1 when he joined the Axis and removed Anglolanda from his clay in 1940, before invading his clay to remove him from WWII. Because of his isolation policy, we hardly ever interact with one another but seriously though DOES IT KILL YOU TO NOT ALWAYS INTO IRA ON MEI AMIKATORIE IN AEVROPIA?! Oh, and if you DARE start an IRA on me then I WILL END YOU. ** : YE DUN SCARE ME, YE FACKIN' FROZEN KEBAB!!! ERIN GO BRAGH!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS, I'LL MAKE YE PAY FER SIDIN' WIT ROSBIF AGAINST ME!!! I DUN REGRET JOININ' THE AXIS, THEY TREATED ME BETTER THAN ROSBIF EVER DID!!! 1941 WAS THE BEST YEAR OF ME LIFE BUT 1999 WAS ME WORST!!! ONE O' THESE DAYS I'LL REMOVE YE FROM THE FACE O' THE EARTH!!! ** : Selminhúk... 'Nei Confiditia (Suspicious/I Don't Trust Them)' * Kalifada Miraan ("Great Caliphate") - Despite our radically different religious faiths and politico-economic ideologies, we manage to find common ground for the most part. However, I am convinced that he is funding jihadists and Intifada, but he refuses to admit it. He is also a member of OPEC like me but I produce and export more oil than you XAXAXAXAXA!!!. * Vascolanda - Though he is a 6ball like me and I supported his independence from paella, I more or less cut ties with him when I found out he turned into a (((FILTHY COMMIE LIKE THE ONE WHO KILLED MEI PATORI))). We currently no longer communicate. But seriously though REMOVE BATASUNA OR I WILL START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! 'Aversatorie (Enemies)' * Peizaal Intifada ("Land of the Intifada") - I will never support your senseless and futile jihadist cause or the god you claim to serve. I never have supported you and I never will for as long as I draw breath. I have bore witness to the atrocities of genocide for nearly 20 years when the False North occupied my clay and nearly holocausted my people. I know what it is like to bear host to genocide, and I stand with Judonia because we have that in common. You have crossed that line one too many times with Judonia. You have crossed that line with my allies in Aevropia and even with Amerikeya by starting Intifada in their clays and displacing their core populations with migrants who will also start Intifada in their clays. But for your sake, I would not cross this line with me. Because if you DARE start an Intifada on me, it will be the final mistake you will ever make, and not even your false god will save you from the combined might of a thousand Western nations descending upon you.'' GIVE ME ONE REASON, AND I WILL END YOU.' * Espania - 'He is not your clay anymore. You don't get to say "No" to his independence this time. Is it not sobering for you to realize that the one sovereign state that recognizes him as an independent state also happens to be a global superpower? I am that superpower. And everyone knows how you treat your subjects when they stand up for themselves. You claim to have gotten over your dark past, yet still trappings of it are very much alive in your clay and your government. I will ''NEVER forgive you for what you have done to Catalonia, or for how you have treated him and all of his people in your clay. It was only through my incredible mercy that I allowed you to live after my intervention on his behalf, and if you have any honor left, you will swallow your pride, make peace with Catalonia, and bury your vengeance once and for all. But if you continue to antagonize him, and make any further attempt to integrate him into your clay whether directly or indirectly, then it will be the death of you and your pathetic monarchy. ** : ¡¡¡PUTA MÁS GRANDE!!! ¡¡¡CATALUÑA ES ESPAÑA!!! ¡¡¡ESPAÑA FUERTE!!! STOP SUPPORTING MI IDIOT HIJO, YUO ARE OF KILLINGS MY JOY!!! 2018 NEVER FORGET!!! YUO ARE TO BLAME FOR MY CLAY'S PROBLEMS, REMOVE IMPERTUA!!! 'XOTONAI/XOTONTOROLIE!!! (BITCHES/SONS OF BITCHES!!!)' * Dobrokhazarin Miraan ("Great Demonic Emperor") - Since you do not seem to get the message, I will repeat it for you one last time: I will never serve you. There is nothing you can possibly say or do to convince me otherwise. I was right to refuse your invitation when you extended it to me, for the West now realizes your true colors. You are the avatar of hypocrisy on the most monumental scale. You support that jihad enabler and false state over Judonia, and constantly engage in unspeakable acts of perversion and violence in the clays of the poorest countryballs. You have corrupted the United Nations, transforming it into your demonic globalist cult to cause suffering and despair beyond all comprehension, using your foul high priest to do it in the name of establishing your totalitarian global dictatorship to remove national sovereignty and personal liberties from the face of the earth. Your three demonic lieutenants tried to summon you from the Ninth Hell using the flesh and blood of innocent people as supplication, whilst leading your army of demon spawn on a path of destruction that caused Amerikeya to have his mental crisis, forcing me to intervene and cast you back into the Ninth Hell from whence you came to save him and the entire Western world from your foul machinations. Your lies do not deceive me, demon. I cast you back into the Ninth Hell once, and I am more than happy to do it again. You have tried to corrupt Amerikeya and other Western countryballs with your false promises of prosperity and unity, but you will NEVER corrupt me. I have sworn a blood oath to fight you forever, and to prevent you from rising from the Nine Hells to threaten the free world ever again. If you rise again from the Nine Hells in my clay, it will be the end of you and your foul cult. * Nortai Sudonicaal ("False North") - If you have risen from the Ninth Hell to torment me, know this: ''I will never forgive you. I will never forgive you for anything. Not for betraying Anglolanda, the Allies, or your frator during the Second World War. I will never forgive you for turning your back on the free world and allowing yourself to be manipulated by the Axis. And above all, I will never forgive you for nearly enslaving, torturing, experimenting on and nearly eradicating my people from the face of the Earth. I was under your thumb for nearly a decade, and my suffering knew no end. But when Amerikeya freed me from your control, he gave me the strength to finally unleash 15 years of vengeance and hatred upon you, and wipe you from the face of the Earth as you once attempted to do to me. After the rest of the Axis learned what you had done, even they abandoned you, and enabled me to take your clay for myself as reparation for my suffering. The world has judged you, Nortai Sudonicaal. You will be remembered only as a fascist pawn, a brutal dictator and a betrayer of freedom and justice. This world is a better place without you in it, and may your spirit burn in the Nine Hells for all eternity.'' * Aversator Miraan Rhudonaal ("Great Red Enemy") - YUO KILLED MEI PATORI!!! 1917 NEVER FORGET!!! 1991 BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE BECAUSE YUO CANNOT INTO WORKING SOCIALISM XAXAXAXAXA!!! YUO ALSO ATTEMPTED INTO ANSCHLUSS ME IN THE COLD WAR BUT YUO CANNOT INTO MEI CLAY BECAUSE I START A DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO AND REMOVE YUOR NUKES XAXAXAXAXA!!! But seriously though IF YUO EVER SHOW YOUR FACE AGAIN I WILL START ANOTHER DAIAMALTEKAR ON YUO!!! REMOVE COMMIE REMOVE LENIN REMOVE STALIN REMOVE GULAG REMOVE MARXISM REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE REMOVE!!!